3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
