Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
