apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
