I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wish i was in the wii world.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
