How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
