My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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