$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
