Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
