How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize