I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
