so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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