Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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