Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
