Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
