My hand turned me down
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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