i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
