69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
