The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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