BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
