doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
