Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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