I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize