you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
