I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
