So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
