Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
