but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
