You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize