I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
