I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
