is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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