Plan B is the new Plan A
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
