he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
