but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
