I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
