I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
