I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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