I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize