When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
