Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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