I want to stick my p in your. b.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
