I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize