i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
