i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
