marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
