she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
