u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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