guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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