I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
