Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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