the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am midnight drunk by noon
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
