He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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