we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
