lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
