This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The beer is more important than you right now.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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