just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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