Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
