Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Bring me that man meat
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
