So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
