i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
