there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
