Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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