god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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