I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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