i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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