Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
