If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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