Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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