I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
