Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Barsexuality is the new black.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
