I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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